Falling: April 13 - 19

Earlier last month while reflecting on Sensing, I raised the question "What does freedom feel like in the body?" This inquiry surfaced while I was on silent retreat but I never shared my answer with you. I will this week.

My first thought was that freedom in the body might feel like flying. Sometimes I fly in my dreams and that is very exciting. But as I reflected on that idea, I quickly discarded it. Defying gravity isn't really my ultimate goal.

My second thought was that freedom in the body might feel like dying. I dismissed that thought as too nihilistic.

I finally settled on the thought that freedom in the body feels like falling. Most days, I live under the delusion that I'm in control. If I have enough money, exercise enough, eat healthy, believe enough then everything will work out. In the back of my mind, I know none of these things will save me. One day, I will lose everything that is precious to me. The secret is to let go, to surrender, to fall into grace.

Falling also has a very practical application in the realm of mindfulness. Each day, I hope I'm learning to fall from my head into my heart. I can't tell you how it happens, but sometimes if I'm very quiet, I drop from the never ending swirl of thoughts in my head into the stillness of my heart. It is a subtle shift in awareness from the mental doing to resting in a place of being. For me, freedom feels like falling.

Practice

Several years ago, I visited the Sacred Valley in Peru. One morning, our group was invited to meditate on the edge of a lake at the base of a mountain. It was about a 20 minute walk from where we parked to the lake itself. Along the way, we were asked to pick up a stone and to walk in silence. We allowed the stone to represent whatever we were carrying in our lives: heavy emotions, difficult relationships, current challenges. We breathed into the stone our unspoken fears and wishes. Once at the lake, we each found a quiet spot and simply sat, resting in the beauty of the day. I don't think we were given specific instructions on what to do. I suspect some people simply left their rock. I threw mine far into the center of the lake. I imagined it sinking to the bottom, becoming part of something much bigger.

So take a meditative walk either in nature or in your imagination. Find your own stone and let it go.