Mindful - Week by Week

We live in a world of constant distraction and interruption. Cell phones, emails, texts, podcasts beep, ping, and shout at us all day long. These days my brain drains faster than the battery of my iphone. If only there was a way out of this virtual rabbit hole.

Good news – there is an escape and it is mindfulness. Paying attention is a skill we can all learn and develop. Week by week, we’ll reflect and practice living in the present moment, listening with the heart, connecting with our deepest intention, building community and cultivating gratitude. Sounds fun to me.

So let's journey together. Meet me here for a bit of inspiration and guidance. Along the way, I'll offer weekly emails to explore insights into mindfulness. Send me a message below or email danmcneil14@gmail.com to sign up.

Blessings,

Dan

Lake Ontario: Sept 13 - 19

I grew up in Hamlin, a small town on the shore of Lake Ontario. My mom still lives there. Recently I visited her for a week. Dorothy's classic line from the Wizard of Oz comes to mind, "There is no place like home." but my favorite line comes in the scene just before where Glinda asks Dorothy what she has learned. She says, "If I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own backyard. Because if it isn't there, I never really lost it to beg

3 days ago2 min read

Change: September 6 - 12

My community planted milkweed in the common area. We are now a recognized stop on the monarch migration map. Do you know how a caterpillar becomes a butterfly? It is mind-boggling. The female monarch butterfly lays a single egg on the underside of a milkweed leaf. Once the tiny caterpillar hatches, it spends the next two weeks continuously munching on milkweed until it becomes three thousand times bigger. At this point, it attaches to a branch or twig, splits from the head do

Sep 52 min read

My Neighbor: August 30 - September 5

My Neighbor This morning I find solitude in the soft rays of dawn. For a moment I'm under the illusion that I am alone. Until the cardinal interrupts the silence with purposeful notes. We live our lives in parallel, separated by a thin wall of green. We each have our nest, our obligations, our journey for the day. Why am I so oblivious to the lives hidden in my shadow? The cardinal and I, aren't so very different. I'm finding refuge in nature these days, especially in my back

Aug 292 min read

Resistance: August 23 - 29

This week, I reflect on resistance and practice. Many mornings I'm inclined to ditch meditation. Common excuses include: I don't feel like it I've got more important things to do I'm just too busy I'm certain you have your own variations. Let me say upfront, sometimes these are totally legit. When I'm sick, extra sleep is exactly what my body needs. Occasionally, family really does need my immediate attention. In these situations, the wise thing to do is to skip or reschedule

Aug 223 min read

Trainer: August 16 - 22

I started working with Karen, a personal trainer, a few weeks ago. In between the BOSU ball and the punching bag, we have the best conversations. Karen sees the natural athlete in me and encourages me to keep getting stronger. I love the positive talk but my inner klutz remains skeptical. Karen receives these weekly emails just like you. She's curious about mindfulness mostly because it feels like something foreign to her ever-busy mind. I explain that mindfulness is a mislea

Aug 152 min read

Today's Menu: August 9 - 15

My mindfulness practice shifts from day to day much like my lunch preference, depending on my mood and my appetite. Here are some of my favorite flavors of mindfulness: Compassion When I'm my own worst critic, I try to remember self-compassion. The voice in my head can be brutal. Instead of getting stuck in the story, my observer self creates a little space between my head and my heart. I get super curious and watch my thought patterns. Sometimes I laugh at myself and sometim

Aug 82 min read

Uncertain Moments: August 2 - 8

Who doesn't love moments of awe? Who isn't grateful for ordinary moments? Even in between moments are a curious place to be. It's the uncertain moments that throw me off. Uncertainty comes in all sizes. There are huge fears like global warming and concerns closer to home like struggling neighbors and terminally ill loved one. I'm certain you have your own basket of troubles to keep you awake at night. Deep down, I know the certainties to which I cling, are illusions. No one i

Aug 12 min read

Moments of Awe: July 26 - August 1

If you look carefully, you'll discover each petal is a universe of color. Have you ever... 🏵️ marched with a 2 1/2-year-old, giggling every step of the way 🏵️ watched lightning fill the summer sky, awestruck as each bolt shattered the night 🏵️ tasted lemon raspberry cake and wondered how anything that delicious could be so sweet and so tart at the same time 🏵️ cried as your heart breaks at the telling of a friend's latest diagnosis If so, then you alrea

Jul 251 min read

Ordinary Moments: July 19 - 25

Sometimes I think of life as a strring of pearls, each moment a small, white, luminous globe. The past, made up of countless beads, representing the days and minutes that have already passed through my fingers. There are too many to remember. Yet each has brought me to this moment. Somehow, the pearl I hold today radiates with the beauty of all of them. I can only ever hold one pearl at a time, never to be held again. Every ordinary moment, a priceless gift. Practice I like t

Jul 181 min read

In Between Moments: July 12 - 18

Admiring the clouds at the boardwalk in Rehoboth Beach, DE Last week I reflected on the importance of the present moment, the only place where life truly happens. This week, I reflect on the in between moments, which are equally important but are often overlooked. What do I mean by in between moments? It is the subtle pause between the inhale and the exhale. It is the the fraction of a second between one thought and the next. It is the silence between words. It is the being b

Jul 112 min read

This Moment: July 5 - 11

After a decade of meditation, I am able to sustain being in the present moment for about 3 seconds. Then my mind wanders, I get lost in thought, and I'm off planning the next meal, the next project, the next event. Maybe if I keep at it for another decade, I'll get to 6 seconds. LOL. While I still have a ways to go, I understand it is essential to keep practicing. Being present in the here and now is a critical skill for truly living. Why is this so important? Because life on

Jul 42 min read

No More Cows: June 28 - July 4

This cow used to hang in my bedroom but is now in storage. Not so long ago, I was talking with my mom as she cleaned out the basement. Over 50 years of stuff occupied every available shelf and corner. While not a fun job, she felt freer after letting go of a lifetime's worth of no longer needed items. We all carry physical and emotional stuff way longer than we need. It reminds me of a well-known Buddhist parable. A distraught farmer approached the Buddha, weeping because his

Jun 272 min read

Hands: June 21 - 27

This is my son holding his son and my grandson holding his dad. This is a special Father's Day for Patrick and me. In February, Jaden, our son, became a dad and we became grandfathers. It is amazing how a little one changes generations of lives. I love watching my son grow as a human being. Fatherhood has stretched him in new ways and he has never been happier. He is getting the chance to reparent himself as he discovers how to be a loving father. What a gift! While milestone

Jun 213 min read

Original Goodness: June 14 - 20

This is my dad holding me. We come into this world innocent and pure but somewhere along the way most of us lose sight of our truest self. Sage, my grandson, was born just a few months ago. There is nothing more beautiful than his tiny little body, his legs kicking, his impossibly small fingers reaching out, his chest breathing. Such magnificence. I am in awe. I am in love. How do we each get back to the place of original goodness? Much of my adult life has been finding my

Jun 132 min read

Smile: June 7 - 13

This is me holding my grandson. I love being a grandad. And I love the moments I spend with Sage. Recently, I held him for an hour as he slept in my arms. Everything about him is amazing from his tiny toes to his curly black hair. I'm enthralled by his breathing, his expression, even his knees. When he smiles, I am filled with such joy. Sage doesn't have to do anything, simply being is enough. When the Buddha taught his followers to meditate, he instructed, "Breathing in, fee

Jun 62 min read

Threshold: May 31 - June 6

I've been writing a lot these past few weeks about earthly home and heavenly abodes. I just moved out of the place that held my life and those most dear to me for the better part of my adult life. I now stand at a threshold, one of those in between places, a bit scary but filled with new possibility. Many traditions recognize these liminal places as opportunities for transformation, where one way of being falls away and a new one emerges. Mindfulness plays a key role in this

May 302 min read

Metta: May 24 - 30

I saved loving kindness (or metta) as the final heavenly abode. Metta is essentially wishing wellbeing for others. It is the one I routinely practice and probably the one most familiar to others. Here's why I value metta so much. If I'm not intentional when I close my eyes to meditate, instead of becoming aware of the present moment, I can easily get stuck in my petty thoughts and discomforts and zone out for 20 minutes. But metta prompts me to recognize how I'm actually conn

May 232 min read

Upeka: May 17 - 23

Equanimity (upeka) is the strangest of the four heavenly abodes and probably the least understood by the western mind and yet maybe the one most familiar to me. According to Lion's Roar, equanimity "refers to a profound quality of strength and evenness of mind undisturbed by emotional upheavals. It is characterized by a quality of not picking and choosing, but rather being content with what presents itself." For me, equanimity is the proof that mindfulness has taken root in m

May 162 min read

Mudita: May 10 - 16

Mudita is often translated as sympathetic joy and is another of the divine abodes in the Buddhist tradition. If karuna is the result when a tender heart encounters the suffering of another, mudita is the result when a tender heart encounters the joy of another. Instead of the human tendency toward envy, mudita amplifies joy. It celebrates the good fortune of others. I've previously written how joy is essential in these weary and difficult days, but practicing mudita might hel

May 92 min read

Karuna: May 3 - 9

In Buddhist philosophy, there are four heavenly abodes or homes, which are fundamentally attitudes of the heart. These boundless states are: loving kindness, compassion, sympathetic joy, and equanimity. I will explore each of these over the next few weeks. I'll begin with compassion, or karuna in the language of the Buddha. Karuna is tenderness of heart in the face of another's suffering. Most Sundays you'll find me at Sit Club, an online meditation community based in Chicag

May 22 min read

Home: April 26 - May 2

This photo was taken about 20 years ago. Patrick and I had just met our future son and daughter but had not adopted them yet. At our first meeting, we gave them each a little photo album of our family and friends so they could imagine our life together. The first page was of us sitting on the front steps of our home with our two dogs Mardi and Boomer. Little could we imagine all the mornings getting ready for school, celebrating holidays, singing happy birthday around the din

Apr 252 min read

Time-Out: April 19 - 25

Do you know anyone who talks nonstop, who only ever talks about themself, and takes themself way too seriously? Unfortunately, I do. It is the "me" inside my head. Recently, I was explaining the reason I meditate is to stay grounded in these unsettling times. A more accurate answer is that I meditate in order to deal with my tiresome inner dialogue, to question my old thought patterns, to be kinder to myself, to find a little peace and quiet in my noisy mind. Meditation is li

Apr 182 min read

Motto: April 12 - 18

Everyone should have a personal motto, a little phrase that captures your essence and inspires you. In meditation circles, such a phrase is called a mantra. I suppose in the film industry, it would be a theme song. Recently while on retreat, I discovered my new motto. May my B lessings be of B enefit to all B eings. Mindfulness teaches me to stop and notice everything around me. Sometimes I see pain and ugliness. Sometimes I see kindness and beauty. But always, bl

Apr 112 min read

Dawn: April 5 - 11

Morning swim in Fish Hoek, South Africa. Eight years ago, my dad died at home, surrounded by family, as the light of a new day filled the room. It was one of the most profound moments I've experienced. Something changed forever for me that morning. Today, Christians around the world celebrate the power of love to triumph over death. My mindfulness practice reminds me that each exhale is a letting go, a death of sorts, and each inhale is a new gift, a resurrection to life. My

Apr 42 min read

Safari: March 29 - April 4

Did you know safari actually means “long journey?” Here are some important lessons I’m learning while on safari in Botswana: Always stay inside the vehicle. Keep quiet to avoid stressing animals. Listen to your guide at all times. This is also pretty good advice for being mindful, especially if you: Consider your body to be your life’s vehicle. Realize you too are a member of the animal kingdom Remember you are your own best guide. Practice Let’s go on a meditation safari. Ap

Mar 281 min read

Postcards: March 22 - 28

My kindergarten teacher sent me this postcard from Florida nearly 60 years ago. I still remember the excitement my 5 year old self felt when my teacher sent me a postcard in the mail. Eventually I pasted it in my scrapbook of Valentine cards and photos of classmates. Who knew a simple card with a colorful birds on one side, a stamp on the other, with just enough room for a couple sentences could still communicate a message of care and connection all these decades later. That'

Mar 222 min read

Everywhere: March 15 - 21

A few months after my dad died, I visited my mom. It was a difficult time as she opened up her heart and shared her grief. I wanted to take away her pain. My natural reaction was to offer advice to help her get through it. If I'm honest, I was uncomfortable with intense emotions and wanted to flee; however, my fledging mindful self remembered to breath. I realized my mom wasn't asking me to do anything. She wasn't asking me to fix anything. She just needed my presence. The be

Mar 142 min read

Returning: March 8 - 14

In this series on mindfulness reflections and practices, we've already focused on several actions: sitting, noticing and residing. The one action that is echoes through all of the individual steps is returning . I've encouraged you to return to the breath, return to the body, and return to the present moment. I get so busy doing stuff, I forget why I'm doing whatever it is most times. I love my habits and routines but if I'm not careful, I live my life on automatic pilot and

Mar 72 min read

Sage: March 1 - 7

Sage, the word, the color, and the herb is associated with wisdom and healing. It is also the name of one of the newest beings to arrive on this planet. Sage, my grandson, was born yesterday. I am so grateful for this new life and this promise of hope. My heart is bursting with joy. I've been on retreat for the past week. I thought of Sage being carried in Grace's womb. I thought how she was breathing for him. We all come into this world connected to another human being. We

Feb 282 min read

Residing: February 22 - 28

This week I'm on silent retreat at Pendle Hill , a quaker retreat center. Remember me and I'll remember you. As you recall, I'm sharing a series of reflections on how to grow a daily meditation practice. So far, we've: defined a space in our home and in our inner world established time to practice set an intention practiced by noticing the breath, thoughts, or another object, returning to the present moment again and again released the practice and relaxed into being journeye

Feb 223 min read

Bowing: February 15 - 21

Ice covered trees at sunset, glowing with the beauty of the day. Let's keep building our daily meditation practice. Beginning - Find a place , dedicate time , set an intention Middle - Follow the breath, notice thoughts, let it all go Ending - Honor yourself for showing up This week I'll focus on concluding a meditation. I like to think of my intention as bookends for the practice. At the start, I used my intention as a way to guide my heart to be more loving, more open, mor

Feb 142 min read

Heartfulness: February 8 - 14

Mindfulness is a misnomer. The word implies it is mostly about thoughts. Exactly where is the mind? Is it the same thing as the brain? Too many of us feel trapped in our heads. Mindfulness is not a head trip but something altogether different. Maybe consciousness is a better word. Where does consciousness reside? In our heads? In our cells? In our soul? That's a debate for scientists, doctors, and theologians. For me, meditation starts out as a concentration practice where I

Feb 72 min read

No Hands: February 1 - 7

I love cycling. There's nothing better than working hard to pedal uphill and then just let go. Momentum carries me forward and there's nothing left to do but enjoy the ride. There's a sweet spot when there's no more doing but simply being in the moment. The same thing can happen in meditation. If you've been keeping up with me these past few weeks, you'll recall we've been building our mindfulness practice step by step. We've carved out time and found a quiet place . We've s

Jan 312 min read

Noticing: January 25 - 31

Photo of Lake Worth sky by Eve Soldinger , my friend and wisdom teacher. I kicked off this year of mindfulness by giving instruction on how to build a daily meditation practice. Establish a physical space within your home and your body Dedicate time to developing your mindfulness muscles Set an intention to direct your thoughts and actions Pay attention on purpose to the present moment nonjudgmentally Almost as soon as I sit down to meditate, the mental channel surfing beg

Jan 243 min read

Agency: January 18 - 24

Mindfulness is the remedy to feeling adrift in these times of uncertainty. Enlightenment is an accident and mindfulness makes us accident prone. Tim Burkett I'm currently studying with Jonathan Foust in a program called a Year of Living Mindfully. Jonathan shared this quote to illustrate while enlightenment (or transcendence or grace) isn't something we can make happen, we do have the ability to cultivate the conditions for it. I think of this as agency, the theme for this we

Jan 172 min read

Time: January 11 - 17

Last week, I wrote about creating a home base, a place to collect our scattered selves, a place to listen to the quiet wisdom of the heart. This week's building block focuses on time. Meditation is a skill just like cooking or writing. While some people have an innate ability, most of us need to invest time and energy to develop our capacity. I meditate for 20 minutes each morning. Why? Because my best energy is in the hours after I first wake up and 20 minutes is my sweet

Jan 102 min read

Home Base: January 4 - 10

My Imaginary Meditation Space I'm heading into my fourth year of mindful blogging. At the start of a new year, I like to revisit the building blocks of a daily meditation practice. Let's start with establishing a mindful home. Abiding in the here and now happens on 3 dimensions: 1. Physical space 2. Inner landscape 3. Home base Physical space means creating a peaceful spot within your dwelling. This could be a quiet corner in a room with natural light, a comfortable ch

Jan 33 min read

Images from a Mindful 2025: December 28 - January 3

This was a hard year! I am so grateful for mindfulness. It was my steady refuge. These are the images I shared week after week. Thank you for coming along for the journey. We need each other more than ever. Practice If you click on an image, you can revisit the reflection for that week. Take a moment to scroll through them all. Select an image that captures your attention and let me know if the corresponding reflection speaks to you. Come back tomorrow and the day after and t

Dec 28, 20251 min read

In a Moment: December 21 - 27

Usually I think of a moment as lasting but a breath. But as we reflect on this closing season of mindfulness, a moment could be an hour, a year, or a lifetime. Today, let's think of 2025 as a passing moment. In today's practice, we'll follow the guidance of Jack Kornfield and reflect on this year using these questions: Did I live fully? Did I love whole-heartedly? Did I learn to let go? Practice You may want a paper and pen, a journal, or something to capture your thoughts. S

Dec 20, 20252 min read

Upon Waking: December 14 - 20

The season repeats and is not the same. The day repeats and is not the same. The breath repeats and is not the same. Beginnings and endings appear like opposites and yet one is needed for the other. Each contains the other. Sometimes there are moments of insight and clarity and probably more often uncertainty and unknowing. Even in the midst of terrible disaster, there is the calm before the storm and stillness in the eye of the hurricane, places of refuge in the cle

Dec 14, 20252 min read

Held: December 7 - 13

I take my breath for granted. Maybe because it is so close to me, I don't even notice it most of the time. But if I stop long enough to think about it just for a moment, I realize it is a mystery. I breathe all day long but I don't really know how my lungs and my diaphragm oxygenate my body. Sometimes in meditation I follow my breath, hold my breath, count my breaths. I act like it is something I control and am in charge of, but in reality, my breath holds me. It carries me t

Dec 6, 20252 min read

Blessing: November 30 - December 6

My holiday cactus is in full bloom. Beauty filled my week as I connected with family and friends. Each day I set an intention to let others know how much I valued their presence in my life. Mindfulness helped me to show up more fully, listen more deeply, and appreciate time shared together. Here's the prayer by Christina Baldwin, we used to bless our table and all those around it. Dear and beloved stranger, Please eat this food with us, that we may all be nourished. Please s

Nov 30, 20251 min read

Grace and Gratitude: November 23 - 29

I tend to meditate in the morning. I begin by sitting upright in a chair, with feet on the floor, shoulders pulled back slightly to open my chest, hands resting in my lap or one hand on my heart, and eyes closed. I then tune into my listening self and pay attention to whatever is showing up in the moment. I sense the breath. It tells me I am alive. My weight in the chair and the pressure of my feet on the floor tell me that I'm physically here and part of creation. My open he

Nov 22, 20252 min read

Islands of Joy: November 16 - 22

I took this aerial photo of an archipelago when flying over the Bahamas. I love the play of water, light and sand. Lately it feels like I've been caught in an unending storm. Dark days continue to appear on the horizon. It leaves me wondering if we'll ever regain what we've lost. It is easy to give way to despair and pessimism. None of us can survive day in and day out, if all we see is doom. I've been feeling it. How about you? I believe the antidote is joy. We each need to

Nov 15, 20252 min read

Waiting: November 9 -15

I'm doing an awful lot of waiting these days: Waiting for the Government to open up Waiting at the airport for a flight to leave Waiting for a buyer to make an offer on our DC house Waiting for a baby to be born Waiting for the next season Waiting for the other shoe to drop And I don't like it at all. I suppose I'm not alone in this. Mindfulness encourages me to reframe these days of waiting into something different. When I want answers today, can I allow myself to abide in t

Nov 8, 20252 min read

Fall Leaves: November 2 - 8

I'm leaning into the season and taking a lesson from the Autumn leaves. In these times of uncertainty, my natural inclination is to cling to my side of the story, the security of my job, my long held beliefs, in search of a solid place to stand. Unfortunately, everything feels like shifting sand. Maybe it's time for a change in perspective. The leaves are so beautiful, so brilliant, so temporary. They teach us that everything changes. In autumn, nature says to let go of what

Nov 1, 20252 min read

Clear View: October 26 - November 1

I'm on retreat at the Omega Institute. Here's my view this morning. Consider this email my postcard to you from the Hudson Valley. I wish you were here. I'm surrounded by the beauty of nature. I'm meditating with close friends, favorite teachers, and hundreds of good hearted people. It is exactly what my soul needs in these troubled days. I'm taking a little time to rest and recharge. I hope you're finding ways to take care of yourself. Practice Now that you've checked out yo

Oct 25, 20251 min read

Hug: October 19 - 25

Sometimes you just need a hug. This has been one of those months. So many of you responded to last week's reflection with thoughtful words of support. Friends have been equally kind. Today, Catherine, my friend whom I haven't seen in months, gave me the best hug ever. No little pat on the back, this was a full-body embrace that spoke in a language beyond words. Some of the hardness shielding my heart simply melted. Please, please, please, find someone to hug this week. It wil

Oct 18, 20252 min read

Between: October 12 - 18

Just a couple days ago, Patrick and I celebrated our anniversary. 27 years ago, in front of our family and friends, we vowed to make our...

Oct 11, 20252 min read

With Eyes Closed: October 5 - 11

Last week I shared a photo of a mountain landscape from the Olympic Peninsula. This week's photo highlights a magnificent plant from...

Oct 4, 20252 min read

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