I grew up in Hamlin, a small town on the shore of Lake Ontario. My mom still lives there. Recently I visited her for a week. Dorothy's classic line from the Wizard of Oz comes to mind, "There is no place like home." but my favorite line comes in the scene just before where Glinda asks Dorothy what she has learned. She says, "If I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own backyard. Because if it isn't there, I never really lost it to beg

My community planted milkweed in the common area. We are now a recognized stop on the monarch migration map. Do you know how a caterpillar becomes a butterfly? It is mind-boggling. The female monarch butterfly lays a single egg on the underside of a milkweed leaf. Once the tiny caterpillar hatches, it spends the next two weeks continuously munching on milkweed until it becomes three thousand times bigger. At this point, it attaches to a branch or twig, splits from the head do

My Neighbor This morning I find solitude in the soft rays of dawn. For a moment I'm under the illusion that I am alone. Until the cardinal interrupts the silence with purposeful notes. We live our lives in parallel, separated by a thin wall of green. We each have our nest, our obligations, our journey for the day. Why am I so oblivious to the lives hidden in my shadow? The cardinal and I, aren't so very different. I'm finding refuge in nature these days, especially in my back

This week, I reflect on resistance and practice. Many mornings I'm inclined to ditch meditation. Common excuses include: I don't feel like it I've got more important things to do I'm just too busy I'm certain you have your own variations. Let me say upfront, sometimes these are totally legit. When I'm sick, extra sleep is exactly what my body needs. Occasionally, family really does need my immediate attention. In these situations, the wise thing to do is to skip or reschedule

I started working with Karen, a personal trainer, a few weeks ago. In between the BOSU ball and the punching bag, we have the best conversations. Karen sees the natural athlete in me and encourages me to keep getting stronger. I love the positive talk but my inner klutz remains skeptical. Karen receives these weekly emails just like you. She's curious about mindfulness mostly because it feels like something foreign to her ever-busy mind. I explain that mindfulness is a mislea

My mindfulness practice shifts from day to day much like my lunch preference, depending on my mood and my appetite. Here are some of my favorite flavors of mindfulness: Compassion When I'm my own worst critic, I try to remember self-compassion. The voice in my head can be brutal. Instead of getting stuck in the story, my observer self creates a little space between my head and my heart. I get super curious and watch my thought patterns. Sometimes I laugh at myself and sometim

Who doesn't love moments of awe? Who isn't grateful for ordinary moments? Even in between moments are a curious place to be. It's the uncertain moments that throw me off. Uncertainty comes in all sizes. There are huge fears like global warming and concerns closer to home like struggling neighbors and terminally ill loved one. I'm certain you have your own basket of troubles to keep you awake at night. Deep down, I know the certainties to which I cling, are illusions. No one i

If you look carefully, you'll discover each petal is a universe of color. Have you ever... 🏵️ marched with a 2 1/2-year-old, giggling every step of the way 🏵️ watched lightning fill the summer sky, awestruck as each bolt shattered the night 🏵️ tasted lemon raspberry cake and wondered how anything that delicious could be so sweet and so tart at the same time 🏵️ cried as your heart breaks at the telling of a friend's latest diagnosis If so, then you alrea

Sometimes I think of life as a strring of pearls, each moment a small, white, luminous globe. The past, made up of countless beads, representing the days and minutes that have already passed through my fingers. There are too many to remember. Yet each has brought me to this moment. Somehow, the pearl I hold today radiates with the beauty of all of them. I can only ever hold one pearl at a time, never to be held again. Every ordinary moment, a priceless gift. Practice I like t

Admiring the clouds at the boardwalk in Rehoboth Beach, DE Last week I reflected on the importance of the present moment, the only place where life truly happens. This week, I reflect on the in between moments, which are equally important but are often overlooked. What do I mean by in between moments? It is the subtle pause between the inhale and the exhale. It is the the fraction of a second between one thought and the next. It is the silence between words. It is the being b

After a decade of meditation, I am able to sustain being in the present moment for about 3 seconds. Then my mind wanders, I get lost in thought, and I'm off planning the next meal, the next project, the next event. Maybe if I keep at it for another decade, I'll get to 6 seconds. LOL. While I still have a ways to go, I understand it is essential to keep practicing. Being present in the here and now is a critical skill for truly living. Why is this so important? Because life on

This cow used to hang in my bedroom but is now in storage. Not so long ago, I was talking with my mom as she cleaned out the basement. Over 50 years of stuff occupied every available shelf and corner. While not a fun job, she felt freer after letting go of a lifetime's worth of no longer needed items. We all carry physical and emotional stuff way longer than we need. It reminds me of a well-known Buddhist parable. A distraught farmer approached the Buddha, weeping because his

This is my son holding his son and my grandson holding his dad. This is a special Father's Day for Patrick and me. In February, Jaden, our son, became a dad and we became grandfathers. It is amazing how a little one changes generations of lives. I love watching my son grow as a human being. Fatherhood has stretched him in new ways and he has never been happier. He is getting the chance to reparent himself as he discovers how to be a loving father. What a gift! While milestone

This is my dad holding me. We come into this world innocent and pure but somewhere along the way most of us lose sight of our truest self. Sage, my grandson, was born just a few months ago. There is nothing more beautiful than his tiny little body, his legs kicking, his impossibly small fingers reaching out, his chest breathing. Such magnificence. I am in awe. I am in love. How do we each get back to the place of original goodness? Much of my adult life has been finding my

This is me holding my grandson. I love being a grandad. And I love the moments I spend with Sage. Recently, I held him for an hour as he slept in my arms. Everything about him is amazing from his tiny toes to his curly black hair. I'm enthralled by his breathing, his expression, even his knees. When he smiles, I am filled with such joy. Sage doesn't have to do anything, simply being is enough. When the Buddha taught his followers to meditate, he instructed, "Breathing in, fee

I've been writing a lot these past few weeks about earthly home and heavenly abodes. I just moved out of the place that held my life and those most dear to me for the better part of my adult life. I now stand at a threshold, one of those in between places, a bit scary but filled with new possibility. Many traditions recognize these liminal places as opportunities for transformation, where one way of being falls away and a new one emerges. Mindfulness plays a key role in this

I saved loving kindness (or metta) as the final heavenly abode. Metta is essentially wishing wellbeing for others. It is the one I routinely practice and probably the one most familiar to others. Here's why I value metta so much. If I'm not intentional when I close my eyes to meditate, instead of becoming aware of the present moment, I can easily get stuck in my petty thoughts and discomforts and zone out for 20 minutes. But metta prompts me to recognize how I'm actually conn

Equanimity (upeka) is the strangest of the four heavenly abodes and probably the least understood by the western mind and yet maybe the one most familiar to me. According to Lion's Roar, equanimity "refers to a profound quality of strength and evenness of mind undisturbed by emotional upheavals. It is characterized by a quality of not picking and choosing, but rather being content with what presents itself." For me, equanimity is the proof that mindfulness has taken root in m

Mudita is often translated as sympathetic joy and is another of the divine abodes in the Buddhist tradition. If karuna is the result when a tender heart encounters the suffering of another, mudita is the result when a tender heart encounters the joy of another. Instead of the human tendency toward envy, mudita amplifies joy. It celebrates the good fortune of others. I've previously written how joy is essential in these weary and difficult days, but practicing mudita might hel

In Buddhist philosophy, there are four heavenly abodes or homes, which are fundamentally attitudes of the heart. These boundless states are: loving kindness, compassion, sympathetic joy, and equanimity. I will explore each of these over the next few weeks. I'll begin with compassion, or karuna in the language of the Buddha. Karuna is tenderness of heart in the face of another's suffering. Most Sundays you'll find me at Sit Club, an online meditation community based in Chicag