Leaning into Lockdown

I’ve learned many wise things during my meditation journey. I don’t recall who first said, “When I’m experiencing difficulties and suffering in life, the way out is the way through.” Let me say that again, the way out is THROUGH. There is great wisdom here.

So when I find myself complaining once again about being stuck within the same four walls, day in and day out, when I am missing my friends over shared meals at the dining room table, when one more minute on a zoom is about to drive me over the edge, I know I am wallowing in a difficult place. Lockdown sucks. Guess it is time to lean in.

This meditation journey has also taught me that mindfulness is always to be paired with compassion. So how can I revisit my situation of pandemic isolation with less judgement and more kindness? I came up with three insights. I share them with you.

Intention

Everything starts with intention. Why am I in this situation? What is the motivation of my heart? If I pause for a moment to consider the answer, it surfaces pretty easily. I remember I am doing this for my 78 year old mother and all of our mothers and fathers and neighbors and loved ones. I choose to stay home and wear a mask and work all day on Zoom so others will be healthy and safe. I do it so I will be healthy and safe. This important awareness is a good place to start - it helps deflate the feelings of self-pity and boredom. A shift in perspective allows me to see with new light.

Gratitude

Flipping the script is another wise lesson. Can I look at the people and things I’m complaining about and see where I’m overlooking the value and goodness in the situation? These four walls give me shelter, keep me warm, and serve as the container for many of the best moments in my life. I love my bed, my shower, my meditation corner, and my dining room table. I miss my friends but I am grateful beyond measure for a life full of friends. They are here in my heart even when we can’t sit at the same table. As much as I resent Zoom at the end of a long day, what would the past year have been like without Zoom? Zoom provides the vehicle to be together in virtual space today. Gratitude. When my world feels like it is collapsing around me, gratitude always opens me up to a larger, more expansive space.

The Path

When Siddhartha sought enlightenment, he sat under a tree and vowed not to move until it came to be. He left that spot as the Buddha. In other spiritual traditions, hermits and monks take vows to spend their entire lives in a single location, giving up one kind of freedom in the hope of obtaining another kind of freedom. Maybe my home is my Bodhi tree. For today and many months to come, these four walls are my cloister. What can I learn by leaning in?