Not in Control: February 25 - March 2

If you could watch the soap opera of my life, you'd see I pretty much star in every scene and act as if the entire world revolves around me. I suspect the script of your life follows the same pattern. If I were in control, I'd like to think I would bring about world peace, save the planet, and spread kindness. In spite of my noblest intentions, my gut tells me the story wouldn't turn out so well. Good thing I'm not in charge.

It has taken me a long time to learn the simple truth - I'm not in charge of my kids, nor my husband, nor anyone else for that matter. The only thing I'm in charge of is me. So why is it so hard to let go of the reins? Why do I get so turned inside out when my kids make decisions other than the ones I deem best for them? Why do I get frustrated when my husband can't read my mind after 30 years? For as smart as I am, I can be a very slow learner.

You might think I would be discouraged by this insight but actually it is the beginning of freedom. Yes, I'm still responsible for my actions and yes, I'm accountable for my decisions but the burden of world peace doesn't rest on my shoulders so instead I strive to live from a peaceful heart. I'm pretty certain I won't single handedly save the planet but at least I can love the earth under my feet and be grateful for the sun that shines. I can't mandate universal kindness but I can strive to embody kindness. In the end, I can't save or fix anyone. You'll have to find freedom on your own.

This discovery didn't come from a book or a podcast. It came from many days of sitting in stillness, making room for difficult emotions, holding the tension with gentleness and compassion, and listening deeply to the inner wisdom beneath the turmoil of my life. Please let me know if you know of a shortcut to freedom. In the meantime, try letting go of control and surrendering to the quiet voice of love within.

Practice

Intentionally take time out from the clamor of the day

and the demands of the world.

Enter into stillness as if arriving in the home of a close friend.

Pay attention to any signals from the body.

Release clenched shoulders. Soften places of tensions.

Breath into areas of pain and discomfort.

Notice gravity already embracing you and the earth supporting you.

Remain here as long as needed to feel anchored and grounded.

Thus resourced, allow one burden to rise to the surface of your awareness.

Hold it as you would a crying child in need of comfort.

Sit patiently.

Listen without judgement.

Acknowledge the hurt and pain.

Imagine a beloved relative, a wise ancestor, or a higher being

taking your hand,

looking into your eyes

with love and understanding,

imparting wisdom through presence.

Be nurtured.

Open your heart to receive what is needed.

Stay in this moment until soothed.

Bow in gratitude for the particular gift given this day. 

Allow the ordinary day to resume

but remember the moment of grace.