Freedom: October 20 - 26

I have my share of defense mechanisms, past hurts, limiting beliefs, shame, guilt, and fear. Some days they get the best of me. When my world feels small, my energy goes into building walls to protect my fragile ego. I'm quite familiar with the cage I've constructed over the years. Why do we do that?

Cages are funny things. How often do I retreat to my cage when I'm feeling afraid and vulnerable? Sometimes it is easier to return to the pain of the known rather than step into the unknown.

I still remember the day a mindfulness teacher commented, "You are not your thoughts." How revolutionary. I always assumed I was the voice in my head. This insight is the key to unlocking the cage. Mindfulness taught me to observe my thoughts in a non-judgmental way rather than getting trapped in them. The more I practice meditation, the more I learn to create space within. Abiding in this quiet place is the beginning of true freedom.

Practice

Find a place where you won't be disturbed for the next 5 or 10 minutes. Take your time to arrive. Notice your surroundings. Check in with the body. Give yourself permission to be fully present. For the next little bit, there is no place to be, there is nothing to do.

Often, we use the breath as an anchor to stay connected to the present moment. Today, we'll use thoughts as an anchor. The same way you pay attention to the inhale and exhale of the breath, can you watch the coming and going of each thought? Become super curious. Pretend you are an explorer investigating the landscape of your mind. When a thought surfaces, realize you have the ability to experience the thought as well as to observe your thought process. This is the superpower that allows humans to be self-aware. So let's practice this superpower.

Watch as a thought appears. Follow its progression. Is it a new thought? Studies show the vast majority of our thoughts are the same ones we had the day before. In the moment, thoughts seem so solid but how long will this one last? How do you know when one thought ends and the next one begins? Spend the next minute or two just watching as one thought is replaced by another. Where are the thoughts from two minutes ago? Imagine what you'll be thinking two minutes from now. Enjoy this mental parade for a little while longer.

Now here's the magic part. This time as you watch the flow of thought, do you notice a space between one thought and the next? It is much like the subtle pause between one breath and the next. Or like watching clouds drift across the sky. Rest in the microseconds of non-thinking. For the remainder of today's meditation, let go of the anchor. Allow thoughts to come and go but also rest in awareness itself. Awareness is like the sky that holds the clouds. Awareness is the stage upon which our thoughts appear. What if awareness is not just something inside of you through which you experience life? What if awareness is life experiencing itself through you? Rest in the mystery of it all as long as you like.