Softening: March 30 - April 5

I don't like confrontation. I don't like to say "no" to people. I don't like stepping out of my comfort zone. How do I know this? Because my brain starts to panic and my stomach ties itself in knots. My typical pattern is to avoid discomfort and disappear for a little while. I suppose it is natural to defend myself but this posture doesn't seem helpful or effective these days.

This is where mindfulness comes in. When I sit in stillness, inevitably difficult people and difficult situations come to mind. Last week I talked about sensing. These difficult people and difficult situations also register in my body as numbness, holding the breath, gripping in the belly, and tightness in the shoulders. If I'm not mindful, I react by resisting and pushing away the "bad" feelings. It doesn't work and I find myself doom scrolling in my head. But it doesn't have to be this way. This is where softening comes in. Instead of judging, can I turn to curiosity?  Where do I feel the tension in my body in these moments? When have I experienced these things before? What patterns do I fall into when I've been in this situation?

This is softening. Instead of internally constricting and ruminating, I create a little space and allow myself to become a bit more expansive. I breathe into the tension. I might even question if my thoughts are true. Maybe insights arise and maybe not. But in either case, I'm not held prisoner by my fears and anxieties but can sense the beginning of freedom. I deliberately seek compassion for myself and others. I’m discovering I always have a choice whether I approach life with a closed fist or an open heart.

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Practice

Enter into the quiet space within. This is what we've been practicing week after week. Take a few breaths to come home to yourself. Today, this can be the entire practice. Nothing more is needed.

However, a difficult thought, a difficult person, a difficult feeling may arise. Don't push it away. Don't flee from it. Can you let it be and still remain present? Today, this can be the entire practice. Nothing more is needed.

Maybe you are willing to soften at this point. Can you allow this difficulty to be your teacher? Can you breathe into the tension? Can you be curious? Can you explore what it is like to be in relationship to this difficulty? Listen with an open heart. Today, this can be the entire practice. Nothing more is needed.

Honor yourself for showing up. You were brave enough to face fear. You were kind enough to let it be. Place your hand on your heart as a reminder to be brave and kind the rest of the day.