The Basics - Intention: January 19 - 25

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Mindfulness is paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgmentally. Last week, I reflected on paying attention. This week, I'll continue the basics of mindfulness by looking at the "on purpose" part. If you want to use GPS to get somewhere, the first thing you do is enter the destination. The same is true for mindfulness. Setting an intention helps point you in the direction where you'll end up.

January is a month for resolutions. Every year my goal is to shed 20 lbs. Every year I struggle. Every year I beat myself for lack of willpower, vowing to do better. Devin, a friend and meditation teacher, challenged me to flip the script and ask myself, "Is there any good reason for not losing weight?" My inner critic had plenty of shameful reasons for why I was failing but my inner wise self found it fascinating to sit with this question for more than a minute. I realized the reason I don't eat better is because I really hate grocery shopping and am too tired at the end of a long work day to prepare something. Sound familiar? In managing the demands of work, the need of my dog for an evening walk, and the real changes in my aging body, I simply lacked the energy to prepare something healthy and instead turned to an easy shortcut like takeout. Here's the huge insight. It is noble to take pride in my work. It is noble to take care of another being. It is human to grow older. My deepest intention has always been to take care of the people and things that I love. Eating a bowl of chips at 4 in the afternoon doesn't mean that I'm a pathetic slug. Rather it demonstrates my behavior in the moment didn't reflect my true value. Flipping the script allowed me to reframe the picture from a negative self-image to seeing myself as fundamentally a good person who cares. My intention this year is NOT to lose 20 lbs. but to remind myself in each moment how to skillfully take care of my body, my family, and all that I love.

Practice

Let's take a lesson from Devin.

1. Settle into your body, pause to connect, and arrive in a reflective place.

2. Identify a behavior or a pattern you feel stuck in. Take time to feel your feelings.

3. Inevitably you inner critic will want to interrupt with harsh words. Thank him/her/them for their concern but today you're inviting your wise self, your higher self, your inner guru to lead the conversation.

4. Most people, including yourself, are trying to do the best they can with what they got. Instead of judging your actions, recognize the good or noble motivation hidden within the unskillful actions. This part may not come naturally so really take time to ponder and be curious. Have a heart to heart dialogue.

5. Name your intention. Write it in a journal. Speak it to a friend. Navigate the next year with clear insight.