Upeka: May 17 - 23

Equanimity (upeka) is the strangest of the four heavenly abodes and probably the least understood by the western mind and yet maybe the one most familiar to me. According to Lion's Roar, equanimity "refers to a profound quality of strength and evenness of mind undisturbed by emotional upheavals. It is characterized by a quality of not picking and choosing, but rather being content with what presents itself." For me, equanimity is the proof that mindfulness has taken root in my life.

As a little kid, I was filled with nervous energy. As I got older, that translated into being a worrier and a bit of a perfectionist. I still struggle with uncertainty, confrontation, and meanness. I'm really good at avoiding anything that makes me uncomfortable. Through much of my adult life, I smiled on the outside but storms brewed on the inside. Mindfulness enabled me to stay in the room with my timid and fearful self.

Practicing meditation has slowly changed me over the years the same way wind and rain transform a mountain into sand. The highs and lows of life don't throw me off as much. I've learned to sit with anger and shame. I don't runaway from difficult people and difficult situations as often. I don't cling to status and other people's expectations of me as intensely. Slowly I'm learning to inhabit my own skin. Somehow through the years and months of practice, I've discovered how to remain centered even in the most challenging times. This is equanimity. This is the precious gift of practice.

Practice

Weekly, I offer guided meditations, breathing techniques, concentration practices, sitting in stillness, gratitude exercises, loving kindness phrases, and many other suggestions. None of these are magic. No one thing automatically leads to inner freedom. The secret is simply to show up and stay in the game, moment by moment, day by day, year by year, lifetime by lifetime. So pick a practice and embrace it with your full being, absorb in it your bones until it becomes your second nature.

Today could be a great opportunity for a bit of journaling. Think about your younger self. Jot down your mistakes, your challenges, your triumphs. Take a moment to look honestly in the mirror at the you of today. Are you wiser? Are you kinder? How have you changed over a lifetime? Don't rush but take time for quiet reflection. Capture any insights. Share them with a trusted friend.

I hope you've discovered that you are your own best teacher. I hope you can see that life has brought you to exactly where you need to be. I hope you can sit with yourself as you would with a dear friend. I hope you are learning to abide deep within your heart. May you know the peace already present at the center of your being. May it be your source of calm stability in an everchanging world.